workingwifey

I am SO sick of people judging me because of my age. I am about to just lose it right now. How ignorant can people be!? AGE IS JUST A NUMBER, it has nothing to do with anything. Granted, some people may say that with age comes experience and wisdom, and that is true to a certain extent but OMFG, NOT 100% of the time! By the time I was 16, I had been through a lot more than a lot of people should have to ever go through. I am about to turn TWENTY-SIX for God’s sake. It’s not like I’m some high schooler that has never had a job and has never been in the real world. My age does NOT affect my ability to do my job in any way, shape or form. At all. I wish people could just use their brains and realize that they don’t know everything, and they should try walking in someone else’s shoes for a minute. I don’t care if you have a PhD or how succesful you THINK you are. That means nothing to me. Neither does your age - ANYONE’S age. Some people are 75 years old and have never been through anything really bad at all. Have never had to do hard work, have never had to worry about their bills and their health and their families well being and death and anything. And some people are 15 years old and have had to worry about ALL of that. With age does not ALWAYS come experience and wisdom. I’m sorry but GET OFF MY BACK about my age. 26 is very close to 30. Maybe when I’m 30 people will respect me? Or do I have to wait til I’m 40? How can society expect to be respected when they don’t give any respect out? The young people and the old people always get screwed. It is unbelievable.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about writing. He said he can only write when he is miserable. And though writing helps him to get his thoughts out of his head and work through his feelings, the misery pulls him in and it’s hard for him to get out. It’s hard for him to get out of that fake reality that the misery creates. And then once he gets into that mindset, he tends to shut others out.
I know exactly how he feels. I am pretty much the same way. I have to be sad or depressed to write my songs or poems. It’s like…you have to write to get the thoughts and feelings out of inside and onto paper, and out of your head but while you’re doing that, you have to re-live all of those thoughts. That can make someone even more depressed or sad. In the long run, in my opinion, it’s better to get all of that out while you can than to push it deep down inside. It hurts temporarily to go through the feelings you have been pushing down, but working through those thoughts and feelings will keep your mind clear for happier memories and thoughts.
I say if you feel the need to write, then write. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. Just get it out, and once it’s down on paper (or in a blog via the internet), then leave it there, and move on. There is healing in writing.

Every day when I’m getting ready for work, I check the weather report to see what I need to wear. This morning I checked the weather report and it said it was going to be a high of 73 degrees, so I put on a sweater. I have the website set so that it gives me the high of the zip code in which I live and work. Of course I forgot that last night I had cleaned out all of my files (temporary internet, history, etc.) so the website had defaulted to the nearest big city, which is San Diego. It’s always cooler in San Diego because it’s near the beach, but I live and work very inland so it’s always hotter here. So I got to work and it said that today it’s going to be a high of 80. Blah. So I’m wearing a sweater and it’s going to be 80. That sucks! The sweater is good for this morning because it’s pretty chilly, but I HATE when I have to go outside after work, and get into my car and it’s so hot you can barely breathe, and you immediately start sweating because you are not dressed for hot weather. That is SO annoying to me. And I live pretty close to my job so by the time the air conditioning kicks in inside the car, I’m home and it’s too late! I swear, every day it’s such a tough decision to decide what to wear - because of the weather! All I can say is layering is pretty important in this inbetween season. Cold mornings, hot afternoons, cold nights.

Lately I have not felt like blogging. I just haven’t had anything to write about, not that I haven’t wanted to write. Normally I blog about things that are going on in my life, or rants or annoyances or thoughts - but lately it’s just been BLAH. I had a good weekend, I got to see my husband for Friday night, Saturday and most of Sunday. We had a good weekend together, just spent lots of time hanging out since I hadn’t seen him in eleven days! That’s the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing him since we started dating in March 2004. Crazy! Before that the longest I’ve gone was six days, and that’s when I went to Colorado in June.
Thank God for friends and my dad and work though to keep me busy. If I didn’t have a job, and didn’t live near my dad, I would’ve gone CRAZY with boredom and would’ve been so lonely. I’m normally a very independent person and since I am an only child, have always been able to entertain myself, but when you get used to being in a routine with someone else, it’s hard to be without that. Oh ya and thank GOD for my cats. They are my life! My babies!

At my job, right outside of my building are a bunch of bees. They are trying to get under the building, I guess there used to be a hive under there and the scent is still there, so they want in. We have been in that building for nearly three years now, and I guess the owner has had exterminators come out, but the bees won’t go away. I have always been pretty upset that I have to deal with bees right outisde an exit to my job, where I have to go every day, multiple times per day.
I’ve always said that bees smell fear, just like dogs. Yesterday I found it to be true. I was leaving work as I normally do. I walked out of the front door to my building and a bee flew into my arm. I started to panic a little bit and brushed him off of my arm. He came right back and latched onto my arm. Then I really started to freak out and started nervously swatting him away from my arm. He came back a third time, and by this time I had already walked down the steps but was still about to go into a full blown panic, and then I finally once and for all got him off my arm.
My arm itched a little bit, but I didn’t think much of it until about sixty seconds later. I looked down at my arm and there was a miniature welt, and redness all around it. I had gotten stung! Luckily the stinger didn’t get stuck in my arm, but the little bugger (no pun intended) stung me! I was so irritated, I rushed home and took pictures of the sing and sent an angry email to the owner of the company for subjecting his employees to these unnecessary bees, and even threatened to quit (for the third time since June, LoL).
Long story short, the situation is in the process of being resolved. I just wish that humans weren’t dependent upon bees. I wish we didn’t need them to polinate our fruits and trees, I wish they were not a necessary creature. I know God created everything for a reason, but sometimes it just isn’t fair the things we have to deal with. Bees with stingers? I mean I know the stingers are for their own defense, but why couldn’t God have made them with a bad taste, or a bad smell or something - something not dangerous to humans? I hate bees.

So with my husband being out of town on business, I’ve had to learn how to do EVERYTHING while he’s gone. His chores are taking out the trash, checking the mail and making the bed. Everything else, I do. But since he’s not here, the stuff needs to get done! We have lived at our current apartment for almost two years. The first time I tried to check the mail which was about a week ago, I couldn’t do it. The key would go in the hole, but it would NOT turn. Finally I realized that for some reason, my husband had kept our old mailbox key. We thought we lost our key one time, so they changed the lock and we got new keys. Instead of throwing away/getting rid of the old key, he kept it. LOL! So I checked around where we keep the keys and saw TWO of the current mail keys hanging on the key hook…and it worked.
It’s like every new thing that I do is an adventure. Nothing can ever go smoothly. I am dreading when I have to get gas in my car. Yes, my husband gets gas in my car for me, always. I have never done it in our current car. I don’t even know how to open the trunk let alone get gas! I do know about cars, but as far as my current car, I refuse to do anything with it. It’s a Lexus, and my husband purchased it before we even started dating, so to me, it’s HIS car. I had my own car when we first got married, and I did all of my own stuff for that little car but once we traded it in so that he could get a truck, I had to start driving his Lexus.
Anyways, it’s just so weird how I’m having to get used to doing all of these things that I’ve never had to do - simple things. I can’t wait until he comes back home for good!

So my husband just started a new job. He started it earlier than he had originally planned, so they sent him to a job site that is in Palmdale, which is about three hours North. Originally he was supposed to be at this particular job site Monday thru Friday, and then come home Friday night for the weekend, and then go back Sunday night to start the work week back up there. This job is supposed to last about four weeks which means I’ll only get to see him on weekends for the next month. BUT this week, his boss asked him if he can work this weekend which means I haven’t seen him since 9/1/08, and wont see him again until 9/12/08!
I can’t imagine being a military wife, or a wife with a husband that travels a lot for work. My husband has never had to travel for work, and hopefully won’t have to for a long, long time after this job is over. It’s really hard to get used to! We have our datily routines and our weekend routines, and now all of it is disrupted. I had to learn how to take out the trash and check the mail, neither of which I had ever done in the apartment complex we currently live. Not that it was hard, I just had never done it.
I have friends in town staying with me from Cleveland, but they go home tomorrow morning. After that, I’m going to be bored out of my mind without my husband home to watch TV with and hang out with. Luckily my dad lives not far away but he just got a girlfriend, so he’s been busy with her recently. Maybe this will be a good chance for me to work on my music, and catch up on my reading. It’s jut totally different than what I’m used to, and I don’t like change!

They say that bad things come in three’s - and I’m beginning to think that is true. The first thing: Last week the General Manager at my work started bleeding, and almost bled to death. She had to have a partial Hysterectomy and will be out for about six weeks. Then second thing: my Grandpa died on the 29th. He was healthy as a Horse and then was diagnosed out of no where with stage 4 Lung Cancer, and went downhill very quickly. The third thing: my good friends’ dog died. Their family had him for 11 years and he was beautiful. Not too friendly to strangers, but he protected them and they loved him. So sad!
I think this is the first time I’ve ever experienced the “Bad things come in 3’s” old wives tale, or whatever you want to call it. Myth? Folk Lore? Legend? Old Wives Tale? Urban Legend? Whatever it is, I would say to beware of it. Just keep your guard up because I did not expect all of this stuff to happen in one week.
And to top it all off, my husband had to go out of town for work last night, and won’t be back until late Friday night. Luckily I have 2 friends staying with me this week so I won’t be by myself, but I miss him. And of course the cats miss him a lot. But that’s just one more bad thing to add to that list. There are other bad things I could go into, but I won’t.